Make nerd culture for nerds

I am nerd.

A self-confessed geek – a loner who was never really alone – just surrounded by close friends of the sport-loving, beer-guzzling persuasion. To make matters worse, I was a weedy Māori raised in G.I (Glen Innes) in the 80’s whom, when most ‘young impressionable hormone-raging male teens’ were reading Penthouse forum, I was locked in on Silver Surfer and dreaming of one day publishing my own comic book… sad, I know.

But, around 2008, that all changed with the release of Iron Man and the 10-year Marvel Movie phenomena that followed. Suddenly, my friends were relying on me to educate them on nerd-culture and – for a brief instant, I was King…

…for a brief instant.

And then, something unexpected happened.

Nerd culture got caught-up in the on-going culture wars – it was treated as both an ally and an enemy – both victim and cause for those demanding Social Justice. Suddenly, nerds with nerd-value were cast out of the outcasts – had their “rich cist-white, muscle-bound male-heroes of justice” stolen, diluted, slapped-round, broken-down and re-modelled for the modern audience, with tragic consequences for those of us who had no problem flexing their febble, coloured arm in front of a mirror, pretending to be a hulking hero and saving the world (again).

We have not recovered, and probably never will, instead retreating to a time prior to 2015, where our fantasies remain stubbornly un-PC and stagnant – untouched and pure to the code that, deep down inside, we matter – even if no-one else cares.

The ‘limited’ Fantasy publishing industry in New Zealand has fallen in-line with this trend – it skipped the whole “comic hero” revolution and went straight for the social justice jugular. Just look at the female-to-male ratio of employees, writers and award winners in our industry – it shows that male content creators wanting to establish classic heroes with typical male tropes will never find an audience here.

Now, don’t start your hate-mail – I would never suggest woman can’t write fantasy (Ursula K. Le Guin would give any writer a run for their money) – but on a personal level, 99.9% of my favourite stories are written by men – simply because it resonates with me. Don’t blame me – I regularly hear modern commentators claim authors should reflect their own inner voice – that only woman can write woman parts, or that only coloured people can voice coloured parts etc. so what I read reflects my inner being.

Yet – when publishers (nearly all of them women – sorry but its true New Zealand) commend my artwork but fail to connect or see a market, or claim they don’t know if there is a market for graphic novels (in a world currently dominated by Japanese manga, and thereby Japanese culture) – I just wished they told me that my work is terrible – it wouldn’t hurt as much.

Yes – that makes me a grumbling failed writer – to hell with it – I still stubbornly believe in the warrior spirit of man.

I am nerd.